WALT: Show Don't Tell
This week Rm5 did some writing about Showing not Telling. First, we had to write a sizzling start about a picture, then we had to use that starter or make another one and write a Before and After. Here is mine
The Cake Mixer
Before
The mixer was fast and the kids tried to stop it then a unicorn came.
After
“BIZZZ!!” went the cake mixer “ it's too loud, make it stop!!!” cried Luca. “ I'm trying to!” shouted Ella.
A few minutes later the cake mixer went dead silent “ what did you do?!” said Luca “ nothing, it just stopped.” Whispered Ella.
BABOOM! “ Hello, hello, thank you, thank you.” said a voice from the fog in the distance “ COUGH COUGH! Who's there?” screeched Ella
“ Me Unicorn!”
Reflection:
I found it easy to... Write After
I found it hard to... Write before
Next time I could... Add a bit more descriptive words